—
Imagine being the picture of health, bench pressing more than 500 pounds, loving life, adding value to the lives of young impressionable minds and looking forward to continuing the path of a prosperous, productive future. And in the blink of an eye you are in a vehicle, white-knuckling the steering wheel while desperately swerving, sweat pouring from your brow, armpits saturated with perspiration caused by fear, breaks screeching and visions of individuals scrambling, running, and screaming in desperation attempting to avoid an out of control three-ton steel object that could ultimately end your existence.
C-A-N-C-E-R—Six of the most dreaded combinations of the twenty-six letters of the alphabet. Not only are these letters immensely intimidating, they are illuminated when presented to one as being a rare form (Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia) of itself and thumbs its nose at the world’s leading and most renowned oncologist, as they all concur that there is NO treatment to arrest it.
Wrap your head around wobbling, stumbling, tripping, crawling, leaping, walking, running and falling simultaneously, attempting to disregard the death sentence that you have just been given.
You hear the words in the decibels similar to that of echoes; “given the present circumstances, your chance of survival is less than five percent.”
The echoes continue as you attempt to process what is being said while showing that tough, manly, exterior, while silently, screaming to the top of your lungs, there must be some kind of mistake, I was just sitting in my office, preparing my week’s game plan!
While Charlie Brown (wa, wa-wa) is finishing his soliloquy, reality takes a seat right next to you and stares incessantly into space without blinking.
Uncertainty takes control of your emotions and your entire being:
- How am I going to break the news to my family?
- Am I amenable to adhering to experimental treatments?
- What’s going to happen to my kids?
- What is the point of going through with experiments if they’ve already informed me of my chances and that there is really no cure?
As one might imagine the oxymoronic situation that was presented to me was hardly a comforting alternative. It was presented to me very matter of factly and concisely, that, I was doomed!
In the wake of what was diagnosed as my impending death, I continued to conduct my life as if I would defy all odds, I believed that I would live to tell others about this journey of uncertainty and yes, at times, I was in total disbelief of my present situation.
My daily motto became: Dare to Be Positive…I vowed to fight every single step of the way.
The chemotherapy ran roughshod over my hair, it did not just stop at cleaning my head bald. Heck, and it even took away my eyebrows. I humbly share that the loss of hair was the easiest part of my endurance, the challenges were numerous and persistent. The leukemia was stubborn and vehemently resistant to the massive doses of chemotherapy treatments that I was receiving and that I received over a period of two (21/2) and a half years.
My body had been so depleted of bone marrow until I could not receive radiation treatments, thus thwarting much of the experimental stages of attempting to eradicate the leukocytes from my blood which was to assist the chemotherapy in causing the acute Promyelocytic leukemia to go into remission.
I prayed every day, fortunately for me, this was nothing new, the praying I mean, I prayed several times a day prior to this devastating news.
Hopefully, someone has been inspired and understands that, intrinsic motivation has no parallel and that one must fight the urge to give in or to give up no matter how grim the situation may appear or may have been said become.
There is a power stronger than all of us. Whomever you put your faith in, doing so will be a comfort that no individual can duplicate.
Twenty-eight (28) years later I’m still hanging around and leukemia-free.
© 2018 Melvin “Chief” Lars
—
What’s your take on what you just read? Have you received a diagnosis and prognosis that changed your life?
Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.
◊♦◊
Sign up for our Writing Prompts email to receive writing inspiration in your inbox twice per week.
—
Photo credit: Getty Images
The post Dying on My Feet While Making Every Step Count appeared first on The Good Men Project.